Why Queer Sex is so Great
What’s the secret to queer sex?
There are lots of studies that suggest women in straight relationships are much less likely to orgasm during sex than men. The ‘orgasm gap’ has been statistically proven, so why is there little talk about how to close this gap? Many discussions on this topic present the data, and then fail to question why the data highlights clear disproportions. Women and non-binary people can be left wondering if the problem lies within themselves, and if it’s ‘just the way it is’, without understanding how we can break the gap. So, why is there an orgasm gap, and what barriers are preventing partners from having a mutually satisfying experience?
It’s important to acknowledge that ‘sex’ is different for every individual, and we have the right to decide what it means to us. We also have the right to decide what we want to gain from sex, and this doesn’t have to be an orgasm. This is something that LGBTQIA+ people have had to learn in order to navigate the world of queer sex and relationships.
Forbes have previously reported that lesbian women are almost as likely to report regular orgasms during sex as straight men. This shows us that women are not less likely to orgasm due to biology, they’re less likely to orgasm as a result of missing components of their sexual encounters.
And, while I’m not a scientist or expert in the field, there seem to be a few common components of queer sex that could highlight why the orgasm gap exists, and how it could be solved.
Ultimately, queer sex requires very open and honest communication from the beginning. The individuals involved have to understand their own needs and wants, as well as how it can work well for the sexual partners. It’s also common for this communication to continue throughout the experience, increasing the likelihood of everyone having the opportunity to express their needs and enjoy themselves.
As well as good communication, queer sex is experimental by nature. There’s an understanding that everyone is different and therefore everyone enjoys different things, this is celebrated in the LGBTQ+ community, which can lead to fun, non-judgemental experimentation.
Last but not least, queer people are used to abandoning traditional gender roles and social ‘norms’, and this extends to the bedroom! With traditional gender roles out of the window, queer sex is for the mutual enjoyment of everyone.
So, it’s settled, queer sex is great!